my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
