You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
