I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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