I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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