After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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