I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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