I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize