I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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