its not stalking. its research.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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