The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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