wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
did you just send me my own nude
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
