i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize