Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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