im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
