third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
