I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize