I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
