He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
