I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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