guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
