As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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