Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His nipple licking is glorious
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