My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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