South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ladies don't puke and tell
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
