He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
