I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize