ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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