hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
