Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
