OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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