Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
