i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize