the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Less talking, more tequila
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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