there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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