Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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