My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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