after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
