can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
