Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
