You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
