Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize