guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
