she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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