I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
