So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
