I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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