is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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