with your own penis?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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