first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
