Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
