You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
