At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
