i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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