it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
