you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
