And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
