I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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