last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
