He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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