I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My life is pants optional.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
