White coat. Heels.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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